6 Lessons I Love to Hear

Lesson 1:

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her
shower, when the doorbell rings.

The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.

When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbour.

Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that
towel.'

After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked
in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.

The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.

When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, 'Who was that?'

'It was Bob the next door neighbour,' she replies.

'Great,' the husband says, 'did he say anything about the $800 he owes
me?'



Moral of the story:

If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with
your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent
avoidable exposure.





Lesson 2:

A priest offered a Nun a lift.

She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The
priest nearly had an accident.

After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.

The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'

The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide
up her leg again.

The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'

The priest apologized 'Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.'

Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.

On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129.
It said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.'



Moral of the story:

If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great
opportunity.



Lesson 3:

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to
lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.

They rub it and a Genie comes out.

The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.'

'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be in the
Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.'

Puff! She's gone.

'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii ,
relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of
Pina Coladas and the love of my life.'

Puff! He's gone.

'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager.

The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after lunch.'



Moral of the story:

Always let your boss have the first say.



Lesson 4

An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.

A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you
and do nothing?'

The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.'

So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a
sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.



Moral of the story:

To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.





Lesson 5

A turkey was chatting with a bull.

'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the
turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy.'

'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull.
They're packed with nutrients.'

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him
enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.

The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.

Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top
of the tree.

He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.



Moral of the story:

Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there..



Lesson 6

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird
froze and fell to the ground into a large field.

While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.

As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to
realize how warm he was.

The dung was actually thawing him out!

He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.

A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.

Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow
dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.



Morals of the story:

(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.

(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.

(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!

Minutes of Previous Meeting

The secretary (Felicia) did not record the minutes of the meeting. Lazy lazy...

Date: 31 Jan 2009
Place: Shogun, Sunway Pyramid

Attendance: Soh Kwang Chin, Tan Jou Ann, Felicia Chan (so-called secretary), Kelvin Loh, Philip Siow, Foo Mun Hon, Ng Siau Yong, Ying Jia, Zhi Yong, Pui Yee, JoeQ, Acrix, Samuel, Goh Jiet Hui, Pei Sung (late), Ewen (late).

Absent, with apologies: Anson, Chee Yang

Agenda:

(1) Welcoming new members: Pui Yee (Zhi Yong's GF) and Jenny (Acrix's GF). Luckily we dun charge annual fees like Zhibi Gang..
*update* Welcome Tan Yun Min! Now Elite Team and Sesat Gang officially related.

(2) Where is Chee Yang?? Besut banjir? Kuala Terengganu CNY celebration?? A certain shop in Kuantan??? KEPONG???! Or maybe Port Dickson???!! We were all so worried. Luckily he picked up our phone-call this time. He had to work, as he was involved in an antibiotic research In HOSPITAL BESUT over CNY period. The area banjir, so have to carry out many such research for the health of the people of Besut. Well done member!

(3) Next Elite Team gathering.

Proposed places were Singapore (Anson+Feli), A Famosa (Soh Kwang chin+Philip), Tawau (Foo&Italy Gang), Terengganu (Soh Kwang Chin). Soh said he dulan the USM students boast about their trip to Bali, Bangkok etc... He also sinis Felicia's plan to visit Bangkok, Melbourne etc...

Proposed dates:
1-3 May (Soh: Long weekend @ A Famosa)
23-25 May or 5-7 June (Joe: Convenient for me. Will be attending a wedding in Sitiawan on 30 May 2009. Prefer Singapore or Terengganu)
29 Aug-5 Sept (Tawau Merdeka trip. Can come for full 7 day trip or partial trip. This trip is confirmed. At time when this post was published flights via MAS and AirAsia was about RM 340 return. Hurry book now!)

Meeting was adjourned at roughly 10 PM. Til we meet again my frens...

Happy Birthday To U, U Are Born In The Zoo.

Its the time of the year again for our Borneo king to celebrate his big day. Although this year there's no Celtic cross for you to hug, no big celebration held for you and your best friend(s) are too busy to bother about you, just remember that you are always on our mind (stop your stalking!!!).

Hope you had a wonderful birthday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOE!!


p/s: Please organize our elite gathering well ya if not you will be sack from your post!!!