Lesson 1:
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her
shower, when the doorbell rings.
The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.
When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbour.
Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that
towel.'
After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked
in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.
The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.
When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, 'Who was that?'
'It was Bob the next door neighbour,' she replies.
'Great,' the husband says, 'did he say anything about the $800 he owes
me?'
Moral of the story:
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with
your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent
avoidable exposure.
Lesson 2:
A priest offered a Nun a lift.
She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The
priest nearly had an accident.
After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.
The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'
The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide
up her leg again.
The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'
The priest apologized 'Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.'
Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.
On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129.
It said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.'
Moral of the story:
If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great
opportunity.
Lesson 3:
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to
lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.
They rub it and a Genie comes out.
The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.'
'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be in the
Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.'
Puff! She's gone.
'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii ,
relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of
Pina Coladas and the love of my life.'
Puff! He's gone.
'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager.
The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after lunch.'
Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say.
Lesson 4
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.
A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you
and do nothing?'
The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.'
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a
sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.
Lesson 5
A turkey was chatting with a bull.
'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the
turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy.'
'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull.
They're packed with nutrients.'
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him
enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top
of the tree.
He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.
Moral of the story:
Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there..
Lesson 6
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird
froze and fell to the ground into a large field.
While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.
As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to
realize how warm he was.
The dung was actually thawing him out!
He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.
Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow
dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.
Morals of the story:
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Minutes of Previous Meeting
The secretary (Felicia) did not record the minutes of the meeting. Lazy lazy...
Date: 31 Jan 2009
Place: Shogun, Sunway Pyramid
Attendance: Soh Kwang Chin, Tan Jou Ann, Felicia Chan (so-called secretary), Kelvin Loh, Philip Siow, Foo Mun Hon, Ng Siau Yong, Ying Jia, Zhi Yong, Pui Yee, JoeQ, Acrix, Samuel, Goh Jiet Hui, Pei Sung (late), Ewen (late).
Absent, with apologies: Anson, Chee Yang
Agenda:
(1) Welcoming new members: Pui Yee (Zhi Yong's GF) and Jenny (Acrix's GF). Luckily we dun charge annual fees like Zhibi Gang..
*update* Welcome Tan Yun Min! Now Elite Team and Sesat Gang officially related.
(2) Where is Chee Yang?? Besut banjir? Kuala Terengganu CNY celebration?? A certain shop in Kuantan??? KEPONG???! Or maybe Port Dickson???!! We were all so worried. Luckily he picked up our phone-call this time. He had to work, as he was involved in an antibiotic research In HOSPITAL BESUT over CNY period. The area banjir, so have to carry out many such research for the health of the people of Besut. Well done member!
(3) Next Elite Team gathering.
Proposed places were Singapore (Anson+Feli), A Famosa (Soh Kwang chin+Philip), Tawau (Foo&Italy Gang), Terengganu (Soh Kwang Chin). Soh said he dulan the USM students boast about their trip to Bali, Bangkok etc... He also sinis Felicia's plan to visit Bangkok, Melbourne etc...
Proposed dates:
1-3 May (Soh: Long weekend @ A Famosa)
23-25 May or 5-7 June (Joe: Convenient for me. Will be attending a wedding in Sitiawan on 30 May 2009. Prefer Singapore or Terengganu)
29 Aug-5 Sept (Tawau Merdeka trip. Can come for full 7 day trip or partial trip. This trip is confirmed. At time when this post was published flights via MAS and AirAsia was about RM 340 return. Hurry book now!)
Meeting was adjourned at roughly 10 PM. Til we meet again my frens...
Date: 31 Jan 2009
Place: Shogun, Sunway Pyramid
Attendance: Soh Kwang Chin, Tan Jou Ann, Felicia Chan (so-called secretary), Kelvin Loh, Philip Siow, Foo Mun Hon, Ng Siau Yong, Ying Jia, Zhi Yong, Pui Yee, JoeQ, Acrix, Samuel, Goh Jiet Hui, Pei Sung (late), Ewen (late).
Absent, with apologies: Anson, Chee Yang
Agenda:
(1) Welcoming new members: Pui Yee (Zhi Yong's GF) and Jenny (Acrix's GF). Luckily we dun charge annual fees like Zhibi Gang..
*update* Welcome Tan Yun Min! Now Elite Team and Sesat Gang officially related.
(2) Where is Chee Yang?? Besut banjir? Kuala Terengganu CNY celebration?? A certain shop in Kuantan??? KEPONG???! Or maybe Port Dickson???!! We were all so worried. Luckily he picked up our phone-call this time. He had to work, as he was involved in an antibiotic research In HOSPITAL BESUT over CNY period. The area banjir, so have to carry out many such research for the health of the people of Besut. Well done member!
(3) Next Elite Team gathering.
Proposed places were Singapore (Anson+Feli), A Famosa (Soh Kwang chin+Philip), Tawau (Foo&Italy Gang), Terengganu (Soh Kwang Chin). Soh said he dulan the USM students boast about their trip to Bali, Bangkok etc... He also sinis Felicia's plan to visit Bangkok, Melbourne etc...
Proposed dates:
1-3 May (Soh: Long weekend @ A Famosa)
23-25 May or 5-7 June (Joe: Convenient for me. Will be attending a wedding in Sitiawan on 30 May 2009. Prefer Singapore or Terengganu)
29 Aug-5 Sept (Tawau Merdeka trip. Can come for full 7 day trip or partial trip. This trip is confirmed. At time when this post was published flights via MAS and AirAsia was about RM 340 return. Hurry book now!)
Meeting was adjourned at roughly 10 PM. Til we meet again my frens...
Monday, February 02, 2009
Happy Birthday To U, U Are Born In The Zoo.
Its the time of the year again for our Borneo king to celebrate his big day. Although this year there's no Celtic cross for you to hug, no big celebration held for you and your best friend(s) are too busy to bother about you, just remember that you are always on our mind (stop your stalking!!!).
Hope you had a wonderful birthday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOE!!
p/s: Please organize our elite gathering well ya if not you will be sack from your post!!!
Monday, January 19, 2009
Make A Wish
Poor Felicia. Celebrated her birthday with paperwork and methadone. What to do... She's a boss!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY FELICIA! Maybe the polar bear can celebrate with you. =)
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Biggest Full Moon of 2009
If skies are clear Saturday, go out at sunset and look for the giant moon rising in the east. It will be the biggest and brightest one of 2009, sure to wow even seasoned observers.
Earth, the moon and the sun are all bound together by gravity, which keeps us going around the sun and keeps the moon going around us as it goes through phases. The moon makes a trip around Earth every 29.5 days.
But the orbit is not a perfect circle. One portion is about 31,000 miles (50,000 km) closer to our planet than the farthest part, so the moon's apparent size in the sky changes. Saturday night (Jan. 10) the moon will be at perigee, the closest point to us on this orbit.
It will appear about 14 percent bigger in our sky and 30 percent brighter than some other full moons during 2009, according to NASA. (A similar setup occurred in December, making that month's full moon the largest of 2008.)
Tides will be higher, too. Earth's oceans are pulled by the gravity of the moon and the sun. So when the moon is closer, tides are pulled higher. Scientists call these perigean tides, because they occur when the moon is at or near perigee. (The farthest point on the lunar orbit is called apogee.)
GO CATH IT TONIGHT!!
Monday, December 22, 2008
A touching account from a West Malaysian doctor
Don't neglect Sabah, please.
I refer to the Malaysiakini article "Kota Marudu needs more than wireless Internet."
I read Dr Ham's letter and cannot help but agree with many of his observations. I worked in Sabah for over seven years as a house officer and medical officer. After my housemanship, I was sent to Ranau to serve in the district hospital. What Dr Ham described in Kota Marudu is not something isolated to that district alone in Sabah. It is an often repeated story in the whole of Sabah.
My first introduction to the poverty in Sabah came during my first months there, when a sweet 70- year-old lady from Kota Marudu was sent to the Queen Elizabeth Hospital with deep jaundice. She lived alone in a small village off Kota Marudu and noticed the jaundice about a month before.
She had no money for the taxi fare and so waited a month to sell off her chickens to have enough money to pay RM50 for the transport to Kota Marudu Hospital. She had to walk two miles to get to the road to get to the taxi.
Having been born, bred and educated in Peninsular Malaysia, I was shocked. When she arrived, she was septic and had a gallstone lodged in her common bile duct. The stone was duly removed but she was found to have a heart problem that required a pacemaker. We arranged for her to get a permanent pacemaker but she refused.
When I pressed her for her reason, she told me that she couldn't afford to buy batteries for the pacemaker, having sold off her chickens. Once I explained to her that the batteries would last for years and we would provide them, she agreed to the pacemaker.
Ranau town itself has roads and is on the main highway between Sandakan and Kota Kinabalu. It developed primarily as a result of the Mamut Copper Mines in the district. However, highway in this context means a two-lane road with frequent landslides and potholes, with a two-hour drive to Kota Kinabalu.
Outside Ranau, transportation becomes a problem as tarred roads disappear to become gravel or crudely marked logging trails. Anyone who has worked in Sabah would have the same stories to tell, of extreme poverty and poor transportation.
During my 2 years in Ranau, I've heard and seen it all, patients with cerebral malaria, a condition unheard of in Peninsular Malaysia, coming in after 48 hours to the hospital from places like Kaingaran and Karagasan, with relatives having to push the 'pirate taxi' through the mud, spending RM50 on fare during the monsoon season, the equivalent of 2 months income, this too when petrol was only around RM1.20 a litre in Ranau.
Patients having to delay treatment for life threatening conditions because a bridge washed away along the trail (I won't even call it a road) to Tambunan. Emergency surgery such as caesarian sections, appendectomies and even ectopic pregnancies had to be performed in our little district hospitals by Medical Officers with little more than 4 months housemanship experience.
Medical emergencies such as myocardial infarctions, which in Peninsular Malaysia would be managed in a Coronary Care Unit setting, had to be managed in the district hospital level. I'm grateful however, that my staff in that hospital were the best I've ever had the pleasure of working with and were dedicated enough to want to make a difference in their patients' lives.
But poor transportation does not only affect the access to healthcare. Having no roads to be able to transport their agricultural produce for sale means that these people are stuck in a never ending cycle of poverty.
At most, some of them get RM20 to RM50 by selling their produce to middlemen to be sold at the monthly tamu or market at prices that are perhaps only 10 percent of the value of the goods. These innocent people are also preyed upon by traveling cloth merchants, mostly foreigners, who offer them 'easy payment schemes' to buy cloth for clothes, and when they cannot pay for the cloth and the interest accumulates, they end up having to marry their daughters to these men, who often have wives back home in Pakistan.
One of the cases I could never forget was of the family who came to Ranau Hospital just as I was leaving, a family who had failed crops, were hungry and unable to get food. The father collected some toad eggs and fed them to the whole family in a desperate attempt to stave off hunger. When they arrived at our little emergency room, one of the children were dead and two passed away within 10 minutes of arrival in our casualty unit due to poisoning.
Education is a problem in parts of Sabah outside major towns like Kota Kinabalu at the moment. Many children would be lucky to be able to get to a school or even afford to get to one. Most of my patients outside Ranau were lucky to even have a primary school education and a vast number of women marry in their teens.
I've had 14 year olds delivering babies in Ranau, most of them have never ever stepped foot in a school. The education level is so poor that many women feed their children condensed milk thinking that it's better than breast milk.
But at the heart of it all, these mothers want the best for their children but are not empowered with the knowledge to help them. Major towns in Sabah have electricity courtesy of the Sabah Electricity Board, but smaller villages have either diesel generators or rely on candles or lamps when night falls.
How can children study in these conditions? Like many doctors in the districts, I had to learn Dusun to communicate better with these patients who could speak little else.
Forty five years after the formation of Malaysia, the promise of a better life for these poor Dusun, Murut and Rungus patients in the districts of Sabah is a pipe dream at best. How can our politicians claim to have brought development to the state and have neglected these poor people, many of whom still wear the cheap t-shirts and caps given free by political parties from many elections ago.
How can I claim to be proud of Putrajaya with its beautiful bridges and lamp posts and the Petronas twin Towers when our fellow Malaysians in Sabah are so neglected?
The cycle of poverty and illiteracy one sees in the districts in Sabah brings despair to the heart. Eradication of poverty must tackle the real issues of education and transport and not just handouts to poor people.
By all means, declare Sept 16th a public holiday, but remember it in its real context, where we made a promise to our brethren in Sabah and Sarawak to treat them as equals in Malaysia, and give them the development they've been long denied.
Moderator: I read this in a forwarded e-mail, and thought everyone should read this. It's quite a long article, and very related to my field of job. My respect for the doctor who wrote this. One day I must take out my pen and start writing my own stories. Have to "korek" out the creative juices suppressed by years of pharmacy school. Enjoy!
I refer to the Malaysiakini article "Kota Marudu needs more than wireless Internet."
I read Dr Ham's letter and cannot help but agree with many of his observations. I worked in Sabah for over seven years as a house officer and medical officer. After my housemanship, I was sent to Ranau to serve in the district hospital. What Dr Ham described in Kota Marudu is not something isolated to that district alone in Sabah. It is an often repeated story in the whole of Sabah.
My first introduction to the poverty in Sabah came during my first months there, when a sweet 70- year-old lady from Kota Marudu was sent to the Queen Elizabeth Hospital with deep jaundice. She lived alone in a small village off Kota Marudu and noticed the jaundice about a month before.
She had no money for the taxi fare and so waited a month to sell off her chickens to have enough money to pay RM50 for the transport to Kota Marudu Hospital. She had to walk two miles to get to the road to get to the taxi.
Having been born, bred and educated in Peninsular Malaysia, I was shocked. When she arrived, she was septic and had a gallstone lodged in her common bile duct. The stone was duly removed but she was found to have a heart problem that required a pacemaker. We arranged for her to get a permanent pacemaker but she refused.
When I pressed her for her reason, she told me that she couldn't afford to buy batteries for the pacemaker, having sold off her chickens. Once I explained to her that the batteries would last for years and we would provide them, she agreed to the pacemaker.
Ranau town itself has roads and is on the main highway between Sandakan and Kota Kinabalu. It developed primarily as a result of the Mamut Copper Mines in the district. However, highway in this context means a two-lane road with frequent landslides and potholes, with a two-hour drive to Kota Kinabalu.
Outside Ranau, transportation becomes a problem as tarred roads disappear to become gravel or crudely marked logging trails. Anyone who has worked in Sabah would have the same stories to tell, of extreme poverty and poor transportation.
During my 2 years in Ranau, I've heard and seen it all, patients with cerebral malaria, a condition unheard of in Peninsular Malaysia, coming in after 48 hours to the hospital from places like Kaingaran and Karagasan, with relatives having to push the 'pirate taxi' through the mud, spending RM50 on fare during the monsoon season, the equivalent of 2 months income, this too when petrol was only around RM1.20 a litre in Ranau.
Patients having to delay treatment for life threatening conditions because a bridge washed away along the trail (I won't even call it a road) to Tambunan. Emergency surgery such as caesarian sections, appendectomies and even ectopic pregnancies had to be performed in our little district hospitals by Medical Officers with little more than 4 months housemanship experience.
Medical emergencies such as myocardial infarctions, which in Peninsular Malaysia would be managed in a Coronary Care Unit setting, had to be managed in the district hospital level. I'm grateful however, that my staff in that hospital were the best I've ever had the pleasure of working with and were dedicated enough to want to make a difference in their patients' lives.
But poor transportation does not only affect the access to healthcare. Having no roads to be able to transport their agricultural produce for sale means that these people are stuck in a never ending cycle of poverty.
At most, some of them get RM20 to RM50 by selling their produce to middlemen to be sold at the monthly tamu or market at prices that are perhaps only 10 percent of the value of the goods. These innocent people are also preyed upon by traveling cloth merchants, mostly foreigners, who offer them 'easy payment schemes' to buy cloth for clothes, and when they cannot pay for the cloth and the interest accumulates, they end up having to marry their daughters to these men, who often have wives back home in Pakistan.
One of the cases I could never forget was of the family who came to Ranau Hospital just as I was leaving, a family who had failed crops, were hungry and unable to get food. The father collected some toad eggs and fed them to the whole family in a desperate attempt to stave off hunger. When they arrived at our little emergency room, one of the children were dead and two passed away within 10 minutes of arrival in our casualty unit due to poisoning.
Education is a problem in parts of Sabah outside major towns like Kota Kinabalu at the moment. Many children would be lucky to be able to get to a school or even afford to get to one. Most of my patients outside Ranau were lucky to even have a primary school education and a vast number of women marry in their teens.
I've had 14 year olds delivering babies in Ranau, most of them have never ever stepped foot in a school. The education level is so poor that many women feed their children condensed milk thinking that it's better than breast milk.
But at the heart of it all, these mothers want the best for their children but are not empowered with the knowledge to help them. Major towns in Sabah have electricity courtesy of the Sabah Electricity Board, but smaller villages have either diesel generators or rely on candles or lamps when night falls.
How can children study in these conditions? Like many doctors in the districts, I had to learn Dusun to communicate better with these patients who could speak little else.
Forty five years after the formation of Malaysia, the promise of a better life for these poor Dusun, Murut and Rungus patients in the districts of Sabah is a pipe dream at best. How can our politicians claim to have brought development to the state and have neglected these poor people, many of whom still wear the cheap t-shirts and caps given free by political parties from many elections ago.
How can I claim to be proud of Putrajaya with its beautiful bridges and lamp posts and the Petronas twin Towers when our fellow Malaysians in Sabah are so neglected?
The cycle of poverty and illiteracy one sees in the districts in Sabah brings despair to the heart. Eradication of poverty must tackle the real issues of education and transport and not just handouts to poor people.
By all means, declare Sept 16th a public holiday, but remember it in its real context, where we made a promise to our brethren in Sabah and Sarawak to treat them as equals in Malaysia, and give them the development they've been long denied.
Moderator: I read this in a forwarded e-mail, and thought everyone should read this. It's quite a long article, and very related to my field of job. My respect for the doctor who wrote this. One day I must take out my pen and start writing my own stories. Have to "korek" out the creative juices suppressed by years of pharmacy school. Enjoy!
Wednesday, December 03, 2008
How Baby Turtles Are FEd
Never realised they are fed with fish until these babies are released into the sea!
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Oops. It's Your Birthday!!
Happy Birthday Anson. Dont be so shocked to see this, although you graduated from Elite Team long, long time ago. =)
Bruce Lee Ping Pong
Been on YouTube a lot since i have internet access at home. What a change from my previous lifestyle. It's unhealthy though, but I cant help it! So many interesting stuff to see...
Anyway, here's something probably Desmond would be interested in. Enjoy!
Anyway, here's something probably Desmond would be interested in. Enjoy!
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
London's Calling
Booking Period : Now - 30 Nov 2008
Travel Period : 11 Mar - 24 Oct 2009
Fly from/to LCC Terminal, KLIA, Kuala Lumpur to United Kingdom (London)
Economy Seats = RM 499 / £ 99*
XL Seats = RM 1999.00 / £ 549*
Finally! The much awaited and anticipated destination of the year is NOW OPEN FOR SALE! Grab your low fare seats to LONDON from as low as RM 499 or try our XL seats and enjoy premium comfort at an Xtraordinary fare from RM 1,999.
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